Rock-n-roll odyssey begins this week: travelling to Portland, OR, to visit the ghosts of punk rock past—we’ll pogo with The Wipers, hit on the Neo Boys, eat ourselves to death with the surviving members of Poison Idea, sell drugs to The Rats. The majesty starts . . . now!

Rock-n-Roll Odyssey Day 1: How do I know this is going to be the best trip ever? Because I ran into Dokken at the airport! I'm not kidding! From right to left: me, Don Dokken, Jon Levin (guitar), Sean McNabb (bass). That's not a groupie hanging on my leg, that's my daughter! No jokes or someone's getting punched!

Rock-n-Roll Odyssey Day 1.5: It's all '80s kitsch and postmodern irony until your wife and kids run off with Don Dokken! Then it's Pain! Fire! Murder! Revenge! Die! Die! Die! Motherfucker!